Sex toys of 2022 with Rebecca Hall: the opening quarter.
For every month in 2022 I will be buying and trying a new sex toy. This is an exploration of solo sex, self-expression, and general sexual curiosity. My focus here isn’t necessarily on the specs of the toys or what they’re intended to do mechanically, it’s on how I relate to these objects and to myself in the process. Some of the toys reviewed may or may not be for you and your body, but maybe the toys that I try and my feelings about them will bring up some other curiosity for you to explore yourself.
In January I bought a glass dildo from Posmo that has since sold out, but they carry a similar one from Icicles. This dildo might be the love of my life. It made me understand those clickbait headlines about people marrying inanimate objects. It actually inspired this whole project, because after the comprehensive mind/body experience this toy gave me, I couldn’t help but wonder, what else was out there? Perhaps that’s not very ‘marriage’. Or, perhaps it is. I’ve never been married.
Like a lot of people, I’ve got some baggage around partnered sex that can make it as challenging as it can be rewarding. Something I sometimes struggle with in partnered sex that involves penetration, is that if even one vibe is off, I can’t really feel anything inside me. One of the most significant things for me about this toy is that the glass is so hard that I can really feel my body responding to it. There’s so much resistance from the glass that if I tighten on it, I can feel the whole object.
The toy has a tapered end that can be used for butt play when turned around. I spent an entire PCR-test-iso day at the start of January doing it over and over. I was so obsessed. I told friends about it, some of whom bought it. ‘Earth shattering’ was the phrase used by one.
This toy has become my basic, all-purpose, every day sex toy. Being glass, it’s easy to clean and is friendly with any lube. It’s also so aesthetically beautiful. As I said: the love of my life.
These butt plugs are really cute. Like if Fast and Furious were something you could put in your ass.
My butt is not the most accommodating or agreeable butt in the world. Most of my experiences with partnered butt play have been somewhere on the spectrum of unpleasant to awful. In most cases, this was not anyone’s fault, I’m just tiny back there. Nonetheless, it’s something I’ve wanted to explore for a while and I felt like doing this solo might help me understand what works best for me, rather than expecting a partner to have all the requisite sensitivity and patience that we (my butt and I) need.
These butt plugs are really cute. Like if Fast and Furious were something you could put in your ass. Does that make sense? They’re metal, so they’re good with any lube, which is really helpful for me as someone who needs plenty and wants to be able to try different options without having to worry about the structural integrity of my toys.
The sizing across the trio isn’t perfect. The smallest one is really little, even for me. The medium size feels really comfortable to me. The largest one is somehow a giant step up from the medium. That said, maybe I’m not the best judge of size, and these have been a great toy for me to explore what feels good for me without, y’know, jumping in the deep end…
What was maybe equally as informative was sending a video of the toy vibrating to the group chat and getting everyone’s opinions before trying it out.
A huge shout out to Posmo for providing every toy I’ve tried so far. The Lora DiCarlo G-Spot Massager is an investment. It’s spec-heavy and boasts award-winning microrobotics that mimic the sensation of fingering. I love the fantastical, post-human, cyborg vibes. The shaft vibrates, and a little g-spot stimulating nub wriggles up and down as if performing the “come hither” motion of good fingering, which is, fortunately, my favourite sex act by far.
The settings aren’t necessarily the most intuitive to navigate, which might be why it’s advertised as coming with a complimentary coaching session via the company website. This didn’t seem to actually be available when I checked, but the sense of relief I felt on realising that probably indicates that I’d rather not anyway. What was maybe equally as informative was sending a video of the toy vibrating to the group chat and getting everyone’s opinions before trying it out.
It’s silicone, so best with water based lubes, and kind of loud, which makes it less appropriate for use in a share house than I would ideally like. But the sensation is undeniable. I purchased this as a birthday gift to myself, and my only concern is that I won’t be able to top this next year. It’s a lot of fun to experience a new feeling that is literally not possible to achieve except through a sex toy.
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